One thing that's no mystery is the powerful role Walden's art plays in suspending the reader's disbelief. Exposing the hidden wires wrecks the trick, and knowledge is no substitute for the joy a well-spun illusion gives. A whole host of intangibles supports the fragile balance between truth and wonderment in a book like this, and trying to nail them down feels a bit like shouting out the secret at a magic act. When an author does get it right, as Tillie Walden does with Are You Listening?, pinpointing exactly how they did it can be tricky as well. Magical realism is a tricky genre: tricky to describe and tricky to get right. Your purchase helps support NPR programming. This way, we won't have to ask if they’re listening because we'll know they are by the way they nod their head, make eye contact, smile and maybe even engage.Close overlay Buy Featured Book Title Are You Listening? Author Tillie Walden, Tillie Walden Luckily, I’ve come to realize that we all make mistakes, but if we approach conversation with the right intent, with the desire to understand and be understood, people will usually meet us there. Just because I teach communication doesn’t mean I always do it right. I admit that sometimes I have to really contain my instinct to jump into the conversation, interrupt and blurt out my ideas. When we approach people and their ideas with respect, we set the tone for open dialogue and effective listening.Īnd, yes, it can be a work in progress. There’s no intimidating or bullying needed. It takes interest to motivate us to exert this much energy.īut the funny thing is- when we create and foster a positive communication climate, listening tends to happen. We have to analyze what’s being said, evaluate the new information and store it in memory. So, it's perfectly understandable that we're not interested in theirs.Īnd- when we’re not interested, we don’t listen. It's that simple. These different behaviors all communicate the same message- “I’m not interested in your ideas”. When someone tells me they really want to hear my thoughts and they look away, check the clock or start to text, chances are I’m not going to feel like having a discussion. The person may not be yelling, but if they’re speaking really- really- really slow and loud, open dialogue doesn’t have a chance.Īnd then there’s indifference. I still have no idea what she was saying in all those episodes.ĭominating the conversation doesn’t really work either. We can certainly hear the loud voice, but at some point yelling sounds like Charlie Brown’s teacher.“waaa…waaa…waaa…”. I like to say that yelling is communication gone wrong. Yelling is just not effective communication. They seem to think that being aggressive is the best way to make others listen. Like a bully, they seem to think if they make others feel small, their ideas will look big. They seem to think that the best way to make a point is to yell, speak over others, interrupt or belittle opposing views. I’m sure we’ve all interacted with people like this. The other person is completely unaffected, checked out- certainly not listening. ![]() I remember this old cartoon with one person screaming “are you listening to me!!?” while another person simply stares ahead with a blank expression.
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